I like Ryan's responses, especially the nonpathological view, but think that this is a very complex behavior, with a lot more reasons behind it. A friend, and a wife interviewed in my first book, told me that when she was working as a manager at a brothel, one of the women always called her husband on her cellphone, before bringing a man back to her room for a "party. Many men told me "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know. It made the men feel powerful and successful, that they had such a sexy wife. If they are used to such a voyeuristic process in their sexuality, there is some legitimacy to suggesting they may incorporate it into their marital sexuality. I think a discussion of this phenomenon deserves consideration of all the reasons and motivations. This might sometimes, though very, very rarely. Many of the men expressed that through their wife's open sexuality, the couple was actively and consciously rejecting social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy and patriarchal power.
In England, men would sometimes set up their wives to be seduces by a man, so that the husband could then sue the man in court. The world record for male orgasms is about 26 in a hour period. In my book, I encountered a single man who described this scenario. Some of the reasons were nice, and some were not so nice. The first letter he answered was from a woman whose husband wanted to watch her have sex with another man, a request she fulfilled. This might sometimes, though very, very rarely. Like those who seek the Taboo, the cuckolds often seek out a strong SM flavor, where the husbands are dominated, belittled and degraded. A friend, and a wife interviewed in my first book, told me that when she was working as a manager at a brothel, one of the women always called her husband on her cellphone, before bringing a man back to her room for a "party. Masochism was named after him. The financial part is a piece that can't be ignored, as it has been around for a long time. But, as she described the enjoyment her husband had at watching her and having "after" sex with her, with the other man's ejaculate inside her, the wife became concerned that maybe her husband was gay. While the wives by and large were happy with things as they were, the husbands often felt their wife's loss of sexual satisfaction more strongly than the wife themselves, and were motivated to encourage the wife to sleep with other men. It might happen, but it's a lesser answer than all of the above. I will tell you that in the research for my book, I heard lots of varied reasons for this desire from various husbands. This played out in many different dynamics. Historically, such men have been beaten, ostracized and ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men. If they are used to such a voyeuristic process in their sexuality, there is some legitimacy to suggesting they may incorporate it into their marital sexuality. Sometimes, bringing a man to bed with the wife was a pretext, a bait and switch if you will, for the husband to then engage sexually with the man as well. I did see a number of men who reported that due to physical complaints, they weren't able to be as vigorous in bed as they and their wives would like. It made the men feel powerful and successful, that they had such a sexy wife. Ryan and Savage's responses normalized the desire and behavior, suggesting that the husband was heterosexual, and was driven by the biological impetus of sperm competition , and voyeurism. It's not always about the money. So, I thought I would use this posting to explore these issues, and invite discussion of what these various reasons might be. I like Ryan's responses, especially the nonpathological view, but think that this is a very complex behavior, with a lot more reasons behind it. It's a great read, and a wonderful plug for Ryan's new book, Sex at Dawn. So - here you go - my list of the motivations, based upon my research, behind why men would be interested in watching their wives with other men:
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Husband Catches Wife In Bed With Another Man And Records It! [Full Video]
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